Stand By The Coffee Pots; It’s A Good Way To Meet People

Sometimes people will complain during their share that people were not friendly to them at a particular meeting. Now, there are many meetings where there are greeters at the door to make you feel welcome. At other places, people new to the meeting or just visiting are given an opportunity to introduce themselves. This breaks the ice so to speak and can be a platform for conversation after the meeting. These are wonderful examples of efforts made to make us feel welcome and wanted.
The reality is however, that for many of us, part of our disease includes feelings of isolation and being a victim. We can take those feelings and have a field day with them at a meeting where people in our opinion are not friendly. We could immediately go to our default victim position and hop on top of that pity pot.
In program we learn that we are not victims. If we are isolators, we need to admit to that fact. Once we do so, the next step is to to take an action. This could be as simple as positioning ourselves by the coffee pot where people tend to congregate before and after the meeting. Just introducing ourselves as we’re sipping our coffee can open up conversations and lead to friendships. At our home group we can also reach out to someone new or visiting as well. This helps to break through our isolation on our home turf.

Personal Reflection: How do I make myself and others feel connected?

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Look For A Way In, Not For A Way Out

People in the program come in all shapes and sizes. Many of us did have certain things in common. One of those commonalities was our tendency to isolate. When the phone would ring we wouldn’t pick it up because we really didn’t want to speak to anyone. We didn’t want to burden you with our problems or we thought you just wouldn’t understand us. When a group of our friends were going out, we would make excuses or lie to avoid having to socialize. Often, we isolated to be with our drug of choice. Then we could drink or eat or use with abandon without fear of being disturbed. For those rare times where we were cajoled into going to a social gathering or a party, we couldn’t wait to leave. Nobody there really understood us anyway.
Today, life is different. We view social situations as a chance to relax or bond with others. In fact, our time spent socializing is often filled with laughter and feelings of good cheer.Sometimes we can just be there for another person and listen to them without comment or judgement. At those times we are solidifying our membership in the human race.

Personal Reflection: Do I need to be more mindful of isolating?