Life can be so disappointing for some people. In particular their disappointment revolves around on what other people “did to to them” or how other people “disappointed” them. Many from the program also fell into the trap of being a victim. Unfortunately, the way we dealt with our hurt or disappointment was to often turn to our drug of choice.
By working our program we learned that it was ok to set boundaries with others. At first, we weren’t really even certain about what our boundaries were. For so long we had just gone along with others. Now, we tapped into the fellowship to help us clarify healthy boundaries. Some of our circle were initially surprised when we spoke up about our needs. Before long people came to accept the boundaries we set for ourselves.
In the past we had often sabotaged ourselves by having unrealistic expectations. When people disappointed us this was a prescription for anger, hurt and resentments. These high expectations also fueled our self righteousness and grandiosity. With these feelings in tow, we invariably turned to drugs and alcohol to soothe our jangled feelings. Today we practice a saner approach. By honestly lowering our expectations, we also see a dramatic increase in our happiness.
Personal Reflection: Are my boundaries and expectations of others appropriate?