Recently, a woman was qualifying at a meeting. Her drinking had caused her many problems in her life. She had received a number of DWI’s and ended up in the county jail. As a result she became estranged from her family. She lost her job and also faced foreclosure on her house.
When she finally came into the program, she often shared that she had lost almost everything due to her drinking and drugging. In fact, it almost became a mantra for her.
Early in her sobriety an old timer approached her after a meeting had concluded. He told her that he too used to say that he had lost almost everything due to his actions. Then one day, upon closer examination he realized that telling people he had lost everything transferred much of the responsibility away from himself. When we lose something, we are often describing a situation that was beyond our control. On the contrary, what had happened to this fellow was directly related to his actions. From that day forward, instead of saying that “he lost everything”‘ he began to say “that he gave everything away”. For when he took a drink, it was almost like he was giving away his life. Upon hearing the story, the woman who had shared changed her mantra as well. She took responsibility for “giving away” much of her life before she came into the program
Personal Reflection: Do I still give away aspects of my life?