Each of us could probably create a list of people that for some reason or other presses our buttons. Some people on our list would be obvious choices like our spouses, parents or our siblings. Then of course there are co-workers and acquaintances that also rub us the wrong way. All of these people do have one thing in common. They seem to say or take actions that get us involved in resentments, drama, and behaviors which are inappropriate. For many of us these transactions have been taking place for years and sometimes decades. We often angrily blamed these people for “what they did to us”.
Many of these same people took up ample space in our fourth step. As part of that process we have come to realize that we are not victims in this life. When a person makes an inflammatory statement or does something which is inappropriate, in that moment we have the power to make a choice. How we respond will determine how the rest of the transaction will go. If we don’t go after the bait, they may still escalate depending on how heavy a player they are. However at some point, if we continue to not buy in, they will change their behavior or go and look for someone else to “play” with. When that happens we have tasted emotional sobriety.
Personal Reflection: Do I still go after the bait?