One of the main tools of the program is meditation. As we began to meditate many of us were quite taken aback at just how challenging it was. We had been told to focus our attention solely on our breath. This seemed simple enough. What we discovered was that our mind was everywhere except on focusing on our breath. Our thoughts cascaded from one topic to another that were often only loosely associated. A lot of the time we would end up dwelling on thoughts from the past. These often caused us much distress. We had frequently behaved quite inappropriately due to our alcohol or drug addiction. Sometimes we thought about the future. These thoughts were just as disturbing. We discovered that without our drug of choice to soothe us, fear had often kicked in. This could often verge on feelings of panic as some upcoming event or commitment loomed on the horizon. We were advised to as best as possible “stay in the moment”. This worked some of the time, but often our thoughts turned to past transgressions or fears of the future. In those moments we turned to another cornerstone of the program. We turned to our Higher Power to help us to stay in the present and practice the principles of acceptance.
Personal Reflection: Do I look up often enough?